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draven_ftw

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204 in the AM what else should I be doing [Jul. 13th, 2010|02:04 am]
draven_ftw
As always its been awhile since I've done this, nothing too exciting going on in the life I live and thats about it. Wow that sounded alittle more depressing then it really is.
Anyways, I'm back on a "I should really try to break this writer's laz/block" kick and here somethings I recently wrote. These poems..yes that still sounds odd that I still write that crap, but I guess the best way to look at this post is to see if I can still do it and figured out how to keep the ideas flowing into longer formats. Once again, here is my post....

Loading The Spike-
Tapping my arm, looking for the vain.
Holding my breath, Am I ready for the pain
Do I want the pain.
My world begins to spin, like it was falling down the drain
Loading the spike where is my life?
Loading the spike where do I begin when all this ends?
The orange flame burns quickly to a violent blue.
The spoon is lost to my touch, finally the strap is ready to roll.
Loading the spike my body is tense
Loading the spike my mind takes a dive
The needle pushes through, blood begins to mix through
The posion slowly burns me right through
Unloading the spike my body breaks
Unloading the spike my heart begins to die, beating with nothing to prove
-----------------------------------------
(Untitled)
Nobody's perfect, my heart doesn't know how to speak to you
Nobody's perfect, I don't know where this can go
For now all I can do is write this for you
I easily slip into the world of overthinking
I simply get lost in my own mind
For Now I could forget what to say
For Now I hope I can say the right thing
For you today I can try not to hold back
For now I can only speak my heart to you..
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iMurders Review, well a short one. [Oct. 13th, 2009|07:55 pm]
draven_ftw
For this review, I have to break it into 2 parts. Both of the parts are positive, so here we go.
The movie was insanely well made, my horror fan boy side was flipping with every twist and the ending was genius. Usually I have a way of figuring the endings out before the final credits, but I could not do it with this movie. I was honestly surprise with the ending and this one gives you something that is not the "norm" of the normal slasher movie. This flip of the script makes it a definite watch, compared to the run of the mill horror movie.
The second half of this review comes from the wannabe filmmaker in me. I loved how this movie was shot; it ran very smoothly and gave you the right jolt as the blood began to spill. Finally, it’s great that an original movie idea isn't dead in this movie world.
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well if anything, I can use Lj as link point for twitter. [Sep. 13th, 2009|08:19 pm]
draven_ftw
[Current Location |Laptop]
[mood |artisticartistic]
[music |Watching Fast and Furious]

It’s called a phase; a lot of people have different ones. Some have a no candy phase, others have an Asian midget porn phase, and there are too many other phases to list here. But one of the common ones is a dark phase.
I had one in high school, but I wouldn’t say that I am done with it and there is one reason behind that, some of my best writing comes from a dark place.
I’ve talked about this in the past, but I might as well rehash for anyone that might be new to the show.
I started really writing in high school, easy way to get extra credit. I would mainly write journals and poems, but not the normal poems, these were pretty dark pieces. From that I delved into a lot of dark stuff in my writing, from drugs to suicide and everything in between. I’ve never had thoughts of acting on any of this, but it seemed to flow from the pen as easy as a heroin needle (see what did I tell you)
Anyways, as the years have gone by I would like to believe that I have opened my talents to other levels and still have kept that dark stuff there when I feel the need. I’ve moved way past writing poems and don’t ever see a reason to go back.
Enough of that and the reason behind this entry, last night I was shuffling through some papers and came across one of the old dark pieces. After I read it, I couldn’t remember when I wrote it and I knew for a fact that I never turned it in to any teacher. If I did turn it in to a teacher they must of trusted that I wasn’t messed up in the head, because this is one of the rare ones looking back at it I sit here wondering What the Fuck was I thinking? Haha .
-----------
Kill Me-
Dig the knife into my lungs
Coughing up blood is something I want
In the darkness I want someone to find me
In the darkness I want someone to kill me

Some people look to heaven or hell, for a quick answer
Death is all I want,
Kill me and get this over with

I want the pain to be simple
I want you to kill me quick

The taste of blood in my mouth
Kill me now, I want to die.
--------------

Once again, what the hell was I thinking? It was high school, so I guess I can leave it at that.
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Is there still life here... [Sep. 8th, 2009|10:30 pm]
draven_ftw
[Current Location |Bedroom on my laptop]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Norm MacDonald on Conan]

As time goes by, something never change. For example, the fact I lapse in my usual posts and come back always bringing it up. So I won’t waste your time with that and get into the meat of this entry.
I guess this can be broken into 3 parts, but as this is just the intro I can roll out the norm and give you some glimpses into what my life has been lately.
The easiest way to some things up, I’ve been working a lot. I’m not sure if I mentioned it before, but I might as well mention it again, I work in the electronics department of the Super Target. Recently, after the specialist of the department took a leave of absence, I’ve been in charge of the department for a little while now and it’s been ok. There have been some ups and downs, to sum it up it has been a learning experience and I would defiantly do it again if I am needed. Also, with that said I can’t wait for Hilda to get back so I can go back to being kind of faceless and just work ha-ha.
Enough of that, here is the main part or the journal. It’s going to be 3 parts, first two will be some past this I have done and might as well throw it on here, to at least put something new on the space. The last part will be kind of a brain drain, just to put some thoughts on the page and hopefully figure out something. Its already looking like this is going to be a long one, I couldn’t compare this to Kevin Smith 24hr tweet Q&A, but I guess writing again it the right step forward. More on that later..

a.
07.14.09- For awhile, I wanted to go to this show and I finally got to go. I’m talking about going to a taping of “The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson”. Anyways, back to the story, I’ve been a fan of the guy for a long time and got hooked to the show quickly after he took over the hosting job. I never thought about going until recently, and then my car started acting up. That’s a usual what the hell moment, but I still wanted to go. Thankfully a good friend of mine, being the great friend she is said that she would drive and so we were on our way, well on our way about a week later.
It was a great day, the wait in line wasn’t too long and there was no need to go to work. Anyways, to keep this short, the taping went great and out of any show this is one to see live. Most of the fun stuff does make it to the show, but there is a lot of stuff not safe for TV that is awesome to experience as a member of the audience. Ferguson can rift on anything and the man is insanely quick witted, I highly recommend the movie “The Big Tease” very underrated flick.

b.
08.21.09- This one was several years in the making, several years because of the fucking stupid economy and other bullshit that is too pointless to list. Anyways, after about 4 long years, I finally saw Christopher Titus perform. It was such an awesome show; it was defiantly worth the wait and price of the show. The long and short of that is I purchased a ticket for myself and a friend that seemed like he was going to go, then at the last second dropped out and still has not paid me back. I haven’t even heard a word from him since that call, but I guess there is a longer entry with that one.
Back to the show, well before the show, I got to Ontario early and roamed around the mall. It had been awhile since I went there and it changed a lot, who knew Virgin megastores went out. During that time, I started talking to a girl that worked at one of the shops and actually made a try at seeing if she wanted to go to the show. If you know me, that is usually something I wouldn’t do and I did. The shy guy I am and I stepped out of that box, well for a few moments and it felt good. The timing wasn’t the best, reason being she had the late shift and it was cool, I made the attempt though.
About a half hour or so until the show, I met up with Jason and his date Bethany for some drinks. Its always fun drinking with Jason, he has always been a great friend to me and I know I can always be myself around him. Anyways, my inner fan boy started to itch, so I made my way down to the club and waited for the other two members of the party to come down. Damn, I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t have a date so I would look like a dork ha-ha.
The show started and it was great. The warm up guy did about a half hour, killed with a lot of his act. Finally Titus came on and rocked, trust me on this I don’t really say rocked a lot so when I do it has something behind it. He did some new stuff and rolled with some stuff from his Love is Evol special. I could go into more of what he said, but just go through his past work and laugh you ass off. I recommend the Titus tv show and Norman Rockwell is Bleeding for any newbies.
The show ended and we stuck around for the meet& greet. As always with most comics I have met, the guy was really cool and nice. I told him how much I looked up to his work and he gave me some advice, then he signed some cds (that I already owned through I tunes) after we got some pictures with him, we made our ways out and start the trip home. Then I quickly had to turn around, I realized the picture didn’t save and went back to hopefully re-take it. I got back and explained what happen, as I thought he was very cool about it and we took the picture again.
That’s about it on that part, I hope I came across clearly and didn’t ramble. Before I jump into the last part, I’m going to take a breather and damn I’m already on the 2nd page of this.

c.
I’ve been putting dates on the top two entries, since there was an actual time frame with those. This next piece is just going to be venting, the frustrations that have been floating in my mind recently about my writing. I would wrap my issue, which isn’t really an issue, as writer’s block/laz/fear.
The writer’s block is what it is, but its kind of a cop out for me too. I should be sitting down everyday and just writing. I guess the only way to get around that is to do what I am doing right now, either write something in here or sit and work on one of the many project I always seem to let collect dust.
The writer’s laziness, which explains itself, is answered with the above comment regarding writer’s block.
Finally, fear is something in the past I can’t I would every fall back into. I use to write and see what kind of reaction I would get, but lately it’s been different. I actually have been over thinking about the reaction and as I write that I see how full of shit that is.
In the past, I’ve had people actually give me crap when I tell them I haven’t been writing lately. Also, with that, I use to get a lot of compliments regarding my past work and I missed the reactions. I don’t know if that will mean if I will be taking my writing anywhere but nowhere, but I guess the only thing I can do is take a shot.
Thanks for putting up with this long ass entry.
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Testing something [Aug. 14th, 2009|10:14 pm]
draven_ftw
Joshua Gilmore
Joshua Gilmore
Create Your Badge
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Since Its Been Awhile Once Again... [Mar. 4th, 2009|01:28 am]
draven_ftw
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Living in the Living Room]
[mood |boredbored]
[music |Craig Ferguson]

Well, since its been awhile and I haven't really written much in here as of late, I thought I would jump back to an old journal.
This one goes way back to 4/8/2002, when I still was posting some of my fictional works.

A Few More Drops.....
My reflection falls into the fallen glass, a few simple drops flow to the cold wood floor. My reflection is cold with the taste of vodka staining my breath. My body lays on the floor with no form and no personal idea of moving. A few more drops to get me to my feet, A few more drops to get me moving. Quietly the midnight sky burns my eyes with the reality of the morning sun that will be creeping into the quiet sky. A few more drops just to get me to see straight, A few more drops to get my thoughts rolling clear. The glass felt smooth to the touch. The bottle was still cold to my touch, that rum will get me moving. The bottle is half gone, maybe Mike will go on a run. Wait he isn't here, where is he again? Oh he's dead. The world got him, laying off to the side of the road as Poe did. The difference was that Poe had legacy follow his death, what did Mike have? He had my ten bucks for beer. A few more drops to break even, A few more drops for Mike. My reflection is asleep in front of me, the dust outlining around my body. A few more drops to get by, A few more drops to keep breathing. Just a few more drops.
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F**K 2008 [Jan. 1st, 2009|03:41 am]
draven_ftw
[Current Location |LivingRoom]
[mood |hopefulhopeful]
[music |Family Guy Vol.6]



Now that the New Year is here, I might as well fill everyone in on how my new year’s eve was. It basically took place at the movie theater with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. I started hitting the bottle hard during the trailer and during the opening credits of Yes Man things started to get blurry , before I knew it I was watching the closing credits to Benjamin Button.
Like I said there wasn’t too much I remember between the two sets of credits, but I did make a note to myself and from what I could read of it, the subject of a new year’s resolution was there. Since I was still in the state of hammered, I thought screw a new year’s resolution. Now that I’m sober I guess I can look at it another way, I’m still going to stick to the thought of forgetting the resolution. I never really stick to it, so why set a goal that I know I will not follow through with.
Anyways, I guess the only thing I’m going to really try this year is to try and follow through with something. It could be anything, but I want to just make it to an accomplishment that I can be proud of. Damn that sounded alittle Hallmarkish, so enough of that bullshit.
Here is a quick wrap up of 2008….
For the better part of the year I was unemployed, but I got a pretty decent job that I hope will stick around for a little while.
I was able to take my dad to a live WWE show and my niece celebrated her 3rd birthday.
Reconnected with some friends that I lost touch with, thanks to my new job.
2 of my close friends got married (not to each other) and I acted as best man at one of the weddings.

There are some other things that I could run with, but I’m kind of drawing a blank right now.
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Oct. 23, 2007...I know I'm alittle late. [May. 25th, 2008|02:23 am]
draven_ftw
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Still Living Room]
[music |The End of 25th Hour]

sf/


This is defiantly a late entry, but a post that I could use to get my thoughts out on what happened. I'm not even 30 and I seem to talk a lot about losing friends on here. The main one I talk about is the loss of Tom.
It was another year that passed and on the 23rd of Oct my thoughts were in the same place. That day was the usual thinking about Tom, missing his advice, and just plain bull shitting around. Last year (2007) was the first time James was actually in the states to be around for the day. We met up and drove out to the grave, where we caught up with Tom's sister Ashley and Jessie. It was a good day; we left flowers like we always do and that was about it. Later that day, after hanging out with James a little more and talking with Jason, I watch the tribute that was put together for Tom and called it a day.

A few weeks later I found out that Oct 23rd sucks a little bit more now. I got some info early in Nov that a close friend of mine was injured during a football game and was in a coma, the outlook wasn't good. So by the end of that week, 15 yr old Justin Barney was taken off life support and passed away. This kid had a lot of ups and downs in his life, to only step up to the challenges and be more of a man then most people walking the streets. Also, the accident happened in one of the first high school football games he had ever played and from the reports I've read he was loved by many people outside his normal circle.

Back to the 23rd, as the passing of Tom will always loom over my head that day and I will hold his memory strong in my heart. After Justin's passing I read more on what happened and discovered that the game where he was injured happened on Oct 23rd.
As the pain is probably still being felt by a lot of people there, I can only hope they know the memories are the strongest thing to hold. The memories that keep a smile on your face is worth more then you can imagine.

Now, with that said and since movies are a strong link for me on anything, here are 2 memories that I will never forget and 2 movies that will remind me of Tom and Justin until movies just have no more meaning to me.
The movie that will remind me of Tom is Swordfish and An American Werewolf in Paris.
The movie that will remind me of Justin is The Simpson's Movie.

I should probably go more into those memories and I will, just not right now. The reason is I need something to write about in another later journal.

sm/
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78 Weeks Later... [May. 25th, 2008|01:16 am]
draven_ftw
[Current Location |Living Room]
[mood |determineddetermined]
[music |Watching 25th Hour]

78/

78 weeks, that what the counter on my livejournal reads. It's been 78 weeks since the last time I posted an entry, on myspace my last entry was marking the passing of another year without Tom and on livejournal the last post was the same. The second to last entry in both was chance meeting with Kevin Smith. Now I look at it 78 weeks later and I don't know if I can honestly say a lot has happened, there has been a few event and I guess right now would be the place to talk about them.

First, I guess, will be the fun I've been having in the employment world. Back in Sept. of 07 I was laid off from Atco Tech, work was in a slow down and since I was still considered a newbie, I was part of the lay-offs that were leveled. Nothing bad about it and I guess nothing good either. Nothing good, since I would be unemployed. Right now, I currently work as a temp groundskeeper for the Apple Valley School District. After several months of trying to find something or basically just anything and for right now that is it. I have an upcoming interview with Verison Wireless and I still have a few places that I am checking with, so there is still a good out look.

Next, during the 78 weeks, I took part in several weddings; 3 friends' weddings and 1 family member. I was an usher for one, a best man for 2, and I told people where to sit for the other one.

I guess now, this is the final point to make in this new entry. There has been time that has passed, as stated before 78 weeks to be exact, and life has defiantly moved on. Friends and friendships have moved on. I do miss them and it sucks. I guess that is life, for months I've realized where I want my life to be. I have a few ideas where I want to be physically and I defiantly know where I want to be mentally, all that is left to do is take that first step.
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5 years ago and today... [Oct. 23rd, 2006|07:52 pm]
draven_ftw
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Home waiting to go to Jason's]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |Foo Fighters-Next Year]

There was a time in the past when I would actually post on this thing more then I do now. In the past I would put the most pointless stuff, but one day 5 years ago the pointless stuff didn't matter. I made a post that I thought I would never do it was a post about the passing of someone very close to me and a person that was close to anyone that had the chance to know him.Tom died on the 23rd of Oct. the 3 of us out here (Jason, James, and I) didn't find out until the 30th.Here is the post from that day we found out.
Here Is that Journal

This is defiantly a time when a subject or title or headline just won't express what I am feeling right now. To be perfectly honest, I really don't know what I'm feeling and maybe I should explain. My BEST friend Tom Quinnett was killed in a car crash. I found out today from my other best friend Jason. I was at the Hesperia Star and Jason came in.We stepped outside and he told me, after the words escaped his mouth and entered my ears I was at a point of disbelief.Then it slightly sank in, but then we went to see his step dad and it sank all the way in. He was gone and it just sank in, He was gone I could never say goodbye to his face.The rest of the day was hanging out with Jason and simply coping. I wish I could of been at the funeral, but I will go to the services.All of this just put life in purpose, what that purpose is I will have to figure out a little harder now.
Rest In Peace Man
Usual Suspects 4 LIFE
Tom Quinnett Jan.19,1983 ~ Oct.23,2001
tom/

tom2/

Present Day

Today is the 5 year mark of Tom's passing. It’s hard to believe that much time has passed, but looking at everything that has happened it’s not too much of a shock. We have all entered different roads in our lives and still we got that link with each other. The friendship I have with James and Jason seems to always have the strong points, Tom being the strongest link we have. There isn't a day that I don't think of Tom, in the normal daily world. Then the rare events come up, some aren't as rare as others, but he is always in my mind. Finally, the new people I get to know, I always think of what Tom would think of them and I know all of them would have got along with him like anybody else would.
Yes, it has been 5 years and it is a crazy concept. Thinking about it more, it’s not as crazy as it may seem. Jason is out on his own and traveling his road. James is working his life where he wants it to be and following his road. I'm making my way to where I want to be, making my next choice on what turn to make. But the key factor is our friendship, no matter what roads we may travel, we know the memories will get us back to what is important and we have Tom to thank for that.
tom3/
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